Hyun’s Notes

 If someone outside my boundaries calls me crazy, I don’t really care. Whatever they say has nothing to do with me, and it’s not worth my attention. But if someone close to me were hurt by those words… then I’d probably lose it. 순간적으로 떠오른 생각이자 오늘 내 사람에게 미안했던 이유

 I keep telling myself, “I need to find my true identity. I need to discover what I love to do.” But the truth is, I don’t really know how to do that. People say, “Just try something,” but I’m left wondering—what exactly should I try? Am I just being lazy? Or maybe it’s simply the way I’m wired. Still, I’ve started to put myself first, and because of that, I hold on to the hope that change will come.

  I want to try morning pages, but honestly, writing by hand feels like such a hassle. My hand can’t keep up with my thoughts, and I end up losing track of what I really want to say. So what should I even write in morning pages? If I think about it, what I’m writing right now is already a kind of morning page. Maybe I should buy The Artist’s Way . When I type, I also notice that I press the spacebar almost out of habit, and sometimes my words don’t even come out fully. I know in my head that I should wake up early, but my body resists. I just like being comfortable. But then I wonder—do I really deserve that comfort? What even gives someone the “right” to it? Who decides that—me, or society? Maybe I can justify it by saying, “Well, it’s the weekend.” Sometimes when I stretch after waking up, I even end up with muscle pain from that posture. That’s it for today. For a first day, I think I did okay. Though honestly, writing for a long time about one thing does feel a l...

 A space to write with complete honesty — but when I try to show only a polished version of myself, I can’t seem to write anything at all. This is why time has passed since I created my blog without posting anything. From now on, I’ll just share the stories in my heart as honestly as I can.

 Today, I got a coupon for a free sample from a drugstore. Since there’s a branch just around the corner, my first thought was, “I should go get it right now.” But then I stopped and asked myself— Is this sample really important enough to interrupt my day? Not really. So why was I so ready to drop everything and go? Maybe because it came as a “special” message on KakaoTalk, paired with the lure of getting something for free. But do I truly need it? No. Is it worth going out just for that? No. So I decided—if I happen to go out later, I’ll stop by and see if it’s still there. If not, that’s fine too. It’s nothing life-changing. Because I come first. My life comes first.