Hyun’s Notes

 I keep telling myself, “I need to find my true identity. I need to discover what I love to do.” But the truth is, I don’t really know how to do that. People say, “Just try something,” but I’m left wondering—what exactly should I try? Am I just being lazy? Or maybe it’s simply the way I’m wired. Still, I’ve started to put myself first, and because of that, I hold on to the hope that change will come.

  I want to try morning pages, but honestly, writing by hand feels like such a hassle. My hand can’t keep up with my thoughts, and I end up losing track of what I really want to say. So what should I even write in morning pages? If I think about it, what I’m writing right now is already a kind of morning page. Maybe I should buy The Artist’s Way . When I type, I also notice that I press the spacebar almost out of habit, and sometimes my words don’t even come out fully. I know in my head that I should wake up early, but my body resists. I just like being comfortable. But then I wonder—do I really deserve that comfort? What even gives someone the “right” to it? Who decides that—me, or society? Maybe I can justify it by saying, “Well, it’s the weekend.” Sometimes when I stretch after waking up, I even end up with muscle pain from that posture. That’s it for today. For a first day, I think I did okay. Though honestly, writing for a long time about one thing does feel a l...

 A space to write with complete honesty — but when I try to show only a polished version of myself, I can’t seem to write anything at all. This is why time has passed since I created my blog without posting anything. From now on, I’ll just share the stories in my heart as honestly as I can.

 Today, I got a coupon for a free sample from a drugstore. Since there’s a branch just around the corner, my first thought was, “I should go get it right now.” But then I stopped and asked myself— Is this sample really important enough to interrupt my day? Not really. So why was I so ready to drop everything and go? Maybe because it came as a “special” message on KakaoTalk, paired with the lure of getting something for free. But do I truly need it? No. Is it worth going out just for that? No. So I decided—if I happen to go out later, I’ll stop by and see if it’s still there. If not, that’s fine too. It’s nothing life-changing. Because I come first. My life comes first.